25+ Best Of Reddit Updates This Year That Tie Up All The Loose Ends (2024)

From Redditor u/LucyAriaRose [not the OP]:

So a week ago, I got a phone call from someone I would consider a friend. We’re not super close, but we’re friendly, and get together with the same group of friends a lot. She called and said that her kids were talking about how much fun they have with mine, and wanted to know if we were free this coming Saturday (a week and a half away, at the time). My kids really do like her kids, and I want to be better friends with her as well, so I said sure! She was relieved, and said her husband would be out of town and she needed a babysitter from 8 am to 10 pm. I felt like it was a major bait-and-switch, because I thought she wanted to do something all together, but I felt bad backing out when I had already told her I was completely free that day. I should have said something right then, but I didn’t.

Well, yesterday, I ran into a friend of mine and she asked if I was excited for Saturday. I thought that was weird, because no, I’m not excited to babysit someone else’s kids for 14 hours. But I said my kids were definitely excited. She said, “Oh good! Is your husband taking them to do something fun? Or who is watching them?” To which I made a face and responded that I was watching them, and then she was the one who was confused, and said, “So you’re not coming?” Well, last week I didn’t go to the end-of-year PTA meeting because I had just started my period and I felt crummy and didn’t want to go. I guess after the fact, some friends went out to lunch. They decided to plan a big girls' day to relax before the kids are back home all day for the summer. Going to the city, shopping, pedicures, eating at nice restaurants, etc., and when it was brought up that I would probably love to go too, this “friend” said she needed to talk to me about some PTA stuff I missed so she would tell me about it when she called me. But instead, she decided to use me as her babysitter.

So I called the “friend” and told her I wasn’t aware of the girls' day at the time, and that I wouldn’t be able to watch her kids after all. She asked if my husband could watch her kids too, which was a NO. She started crying that she really needed this, and what would she do now since her husband won’t be home and it’s too late to find someone willing to watch five kids for 14 hours (with no pay), and then once the tears weren’t working, she just got angry. She said it was rude to back out of a commitment just so I could selfishly do something fun, and how I’m an awful friend.

My friends are all feeling super uncomfortable with the whole thing. We’re all typically a very happy, drama-free friend group, so I know no one wants to take sides, and now I’m wondering if I even go at all.

So AITA for backing out of watching her kids when I committed to it already?

Update:

I had someone ask for an update on what I ended up doing yesterday, so here it is!

I followed the advice from a lot of you to talk to one of the friends I’m closer to in the group, ["S"], to kind of get a feel for what was going on. [S] said she was kind of frustrated with everyone. After I had run into the friend (her name is ["K"], to make it less confusing!), [K] had filled everyone in on what had happened. They all agreed that the mean friend (["G"]) shouldn’t have lied or tricked me into watching her kids, but they all sympathize with her. I guess it is [G's] 15th anniversary this weekend, but her husband forgot and had planned a boys' camping trip. So she was sad and angry with her husband, and they all knew she would really need a little getaway to cheer her up. Though it doesn’t sound like anyone blamed me for not babysitting, they were disappointed for her, and put all of their energy into making a plan for her to still be able to go. No one really seemed to bat an eye whether I was going to go or not, or care that I was sad, except for [S]. However, when it came time to make final plans for everything, someone decided to do the math and realized that if I was going to come, we would no longer all fit into the Suburban my friend [K] was going to drive. It’s a two-hour drive to the city, so taking one vehicle was definitely ideal. [S] volunteered to drive her car and we would just take two, but it all just felt so forced and so uncomfortable that I just ended up backing out.

I mentioned in a few of my comments that I have always known I’m not one of the most involved friends in the group, but I’ve known most of them for almost a decade, so I guess I thought there was more substance to our friendship than they all did. I don’t think any of them have anything against me or dislike me.. but I’m realizing I’m just not that important to them. It was pretty disappointing, and it definitely opened my eyes!

So that all happened on Thursday, and I'm not gonna lie, I was pretty heartbroken by it all. The next day when my husband came home for lunch, he told me to hurry and pack an overnight bag, because he had booked a hotel room for me and my sister-in-law to go have our own girls' night. His mom and sister pulled up an hour later so his mom could watch the kids after my husband went back to work, and his sister (who is seriously just the best) and I had the best 24-hour getaway ever.

Some people can be real jerks. I just feel so dang lucky that my husband and family aren’t!

From Redditor u/LucyAriaRose [not the OP]:

My younger sister (F25) is working towards getting her master's degree in New York. While she loves the city and school, she hates how expensive everything has become. She does work part time, but it simply isn't enough. My parents (M77) and (F73) have been sending her money each month, but since they recently retired, they've had to cut back. To fill the gap, my brother (M28) and I (M32) have begun sending some money to our sister from time to time to help with her rent.

I have a well-paying job and a close relationship with my sister, so I'm happy to help where I can. However, my GF (F30) has expressed her dissatisfaction with the arrangement. We've been saving up to buy put a down payment on a house in the future, and my GF believes that my financial contributions to my sister is hindering our progress. Yesterday (which happened to be the day I usually send my sister money), GF told me that we needed to reduce expenses, and one suggestion she made was for me to no longer send money to my sister. She believes that my sister needs to learn how to manage her money better and that my brother (M28) should contribute more. I told her about how I feel a responsibility towards my sister and how my brother doesn't make as much as I do, and while she did acknowledge that, she then said I was "financially naïve" and said she “doesn't want me to be taken advantage of.” I was kinda disappointed hearing this, as I made the conscientious decision to help my sister and wasn't falling for some sort of scam.

The conversation ended because we both had to go to work, but she told me not to send anything until we've further discussed this. During my lunch break at work, I proceeded to send my sister some money and told GF about this over dinner. She told me that she was “disappointed.” At this point, I was getting a little annoyed and responded by saying I was not willing to comprise my current arrangement with my sister. GF got upset with this and left the table. AITA?

EDIT 1: I make about $15.5K/month and have been putting away $4-6K each month towards a future house. GF makes about $7K/month; currently saves around $1K/month for the house. She said she'll contribute more once her student loans are payed off.

I pay for rent and utilities; GF pays for bulk of groceries.

I started sending my sister $1,500/month since my parents retired.

EDIT 2: Sis pays $2,800/month in rent and $350/month in transportation. I contribute $1,500/month; brother pays $750/month; parents pay $500/month. Our mother was terrified of sis living in NYC on her own and only agreed if she lived in a nicer area and had a car.

Same-Day Update:

EDIT 3: Update - My GF and I had a long talk after work; it didn't go well. To summarize, tensions escalated during the conversation. I told her that I plan to continue helping my sister until she completes her degree, and afterward, she would either start working or move back to our parents' home until she finds a job.

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However, my GF expressed her belief that my sister (and whole family) is manipulating me and thinks I'm naive enough to send her money regardless of how she uses it. I started to feel increasingly annoyed and defensive by her accusations and asserted that it's my money, and I have the right to spend it as I see fit. I then (stupidly) said that if she really wanted us to buy a house, she should save more and cut back on expenses like nice shoes, clothes, and purses. At this point, she became properly angry and declared that she couldn't stay in the same house as me, and said that she would be going to her friend's house. Before leaving, she said, "Call me when you stop thinking like a f***ing idiot." Before I could even think, I replied, "I won't be calling."

I feel that I may have irreparably damaged our relationship.

EDIT 4: Update - I want to express my thanks to all of you for sharing your perspectives and insights. Your input is truly appreciated. Following the fight with GF, I reached out to my brother to confide in him about what happened. His take was pretty optimistic. However, he advised me to stand firm in my position while also remaining open to fully hearing out my girlfriend and considering the possibility of reconciliation. He cautioned against contacting GF's friend to ask about her whereabouts (as it may smell of desperation), and instead said that he would come over (as he lives about an hour away) so we could spend some time together over a movie and dinner. At this point, I feel drained and numb. It's been a long day, and tbh I just want it over.

EDIT 5: Update - My brother came by and bought dinner. We've been watching The Dark Knight (don't know why he chose that) since. Still haven't heard from GF or her friend. For those wondering, I'm a chemical engineer and GF has been paying about $2.5K/month to pay of[f] her student loans.

Update 2:

Before I begin, I would like to thank everyone for responding to my original post. Your support and insights mean a great deal to me. I also want to provide some additional context about my relationship with my girlfriend (GF). We started dating in January of last year, officially becoming a couple by the end of March, and she moved in with me in May. In hindsight, I must admit that the pace of our relationship was driven by my infatuation rather than the development of a deep connection. Her fun-loving nature and beauty had an influence on me, causing me to overlook the misalignment of our values.

Regarding GF's relationship with my family and friends, she seemed to get along well with everyone, although I feel that she never like[d] my brother. My mother made significant efforts to make GF feel welcome, likely due to her desire for grandchildren.

On the other hand, my relationship with GF's friends and parents was different. I couldn't help but feel that they saw GF as being out of my league for some reason, and some of her friends even told me how lucky I should consider myself to have GF in my life.There were also other warning signs that I chose to ignore, and I want to share them now:

GF wanted to impose restrictions on how often I could visit my family throughout the year.

Less than a month after moving in with me, GF leased a BMW, contradicting her previous statements about wanting to pay off her student loans quickly. At the time, I found it strange but didn't raise any objections, thinking that GF deserved to treat herself after years of schooling. Over the following months, she continued splurging on expensive clothes, shoes, purses, coats, and more. Looking back, I doubt she was completely honest about how she was managing her student loan payments.

GF regularly urged me to distance myself from some of my friends, citing reasons like them being bad influences or me spending too much time with them. When I mentioned that her friends didn't seem to think highly of me, she shrugged it off, claiming they only wanted what was best for her.

Fast forward to today. As most people recommended, I kept my word and didn't call GF. Instead, early this morning, around 5 am, she texted me, suggesting that we meet at a local cafe to discuss our future. I replied with a simple “sure.”

The atmosphere felt tense, but we did exchange brief curt greetings before we dove straight into the conversation. She began by expressing her hurt over my failure to call her, repeatedly emphasizing that I needed to be reasonable and prioritize our relationship above all else (I noticed her consistent use of "you" instead of "us" or "we"). When I pointed this out, she claimed that her initiating this meeting was proof of her commitment and that if I were truly committed, I would have called her the moment she left. At that moment, I chose to remain silent, and I believe she interpreted my silence as her "winning" the argument.

She then shifted the conversation to finances, bluntly stating that our best course of action was to ensure neither of us carried any debt. According to her, the only way to achieve this was with me to start paying some of her loans. I insisted that this shouldn't interfere with my agreement to support my sister (if I did agree to pay her loans), but GF asserted that it would "impede our progress as a couple." I argued that supporting my family and progressing in our relationship should not be mutually exclusive. In response, GF declared that if we were both serious, I needed to make her center focus.

She then added that even if she did agree to allow me to continue supporting my sister, "it would't end there, as these things never do." With this, she then began inquiring about my parents, pointing out their "advanced" age and suggesting that they would soon require regular support. Without hesitation, I firmly reiterated my stance, that if my parents ever needed any form of assistance, I wouldn't hesitate to offer it. She followed up by asking, "Even if they wanted to live with you?" to which I replied, "Yes." She pressed further, asking, "Even if I said they can't?" Once again, I responded, "Yes." At that moment, GF stood up, saying that she was "disappointed to see what kind of person I've become" and how she and her friends had always sensed there was something off about me. In response, I stated, "If you believed that, you shouldn't have moved in." She was unable to offer a retort to that.

She then began making remarks about how it was only a matter of time before I would beg her to take me back. I firmly told her that the only thing I would be asking was for her to take belongings and return my keys. She tossed the keys at me, and before making several comments, asserting that she didn't need me, that I had wasted her time, and… how I greatly disappointed her.

I said, “I'm sorry you feel that way, but I'm no longer obligated to listen to you complain.” With that she stormed off. About an hour [later], I got a text from one of her friends saying that they were coming (without GF) tomorrow to get her stuff. I'm hoping that once they do, I can put this whole thing behind me

From Redditor u/LucyAriaRose [not from OP]:

I write as a hobby since I was little. It started as a way to cope with the many problems of my life and I kept doing because I liked it.

I have a cousin… (26M) who love figurines since he was a child. I never particularly cared about those kind of things, but since we were children and we lived close to each other, we always played together and he often showed me his figurines, explaining… how he got them, from what show/film/anime/whatever they are from, etc… I never cared about it, but I saw that being able to talk about his passion with someone else made him happy, so I always tried to pay close attention and to fake interest. His passion for figurine[s] is still alive today. The garage in his home is basically filled [with] figurine[s] and he even bought a 3D printer to print some gadget or figurine he wanted bigger.

Now, while I was in college I had barely any time to write, but I started spending more time [on] it once I was close to my graduation and resumed writing consistently the book I had started when I was 20.

I began to talk to [my cousin] about the story I was writing and he initially seemed interested, then completely lost interest, so I stopped mentioning it to him.

Yesterday I completed my book and decided to print a physical copy myself (hardcover, [paid] someone to draw a cover. It looked exactly like a book you could find in a library). It was my treasure, a proof that I achieved something.

I brought it to my family house, where a bunch of my relatives from both side[s] of the family were staying. They were all enthusiast[ic] about the book, about me completing it after struggling with it for years. They even began to ask if I had any intention to bring it to an editor to publish it officially.

Evidently [my cousin] got upset because everybody was talking about a book he didn't care about, so he suddenly took the book, said he was sick of hearing us talk about it, and threw it out of the window. It was raining outside and the book landed in a puddle. [I] rushed to pick it up but it was completely ruined.

I snapped. I began to yell at him and told him the truth: that for years I had spent hours listening about his stupid figurines I didn't care about and that he was such an AH for his actions. I told him I hoped his whole collection [would] get destroyed in a fire.

Today his parents came to me and refunded me the money for the book and apologized for his behavior.

Now that I'm calm and collected though, I realize I may have overreacted. He cared about having someone to talk about his figurine[s] and I was happy seeing him happy when he talked about them. AITA?

EDIT: (same day)

He just called and apologized. Said he has an idea on how to make amend[s] and will do it in the next few days. Don't know if I should be scared, happy, or something else.

Update:

So, a month has passed and things solved itself, so I thought an update was needed.

Carl came to my house one week ago. He apologized and brought gifts:

- A new physical copy of my book. Now this needs an explanation: Except for me, the only person who has a digital copy of my book is my older sister… [She] is a no-bulls*** kind of person. If the chance of me forgiving [my cousin] were 1 out of 10, the chance of my sister doing the same thing [would be] 1 out of 1,000. When he told me he convinced my sister to give him a copy to reprint it, I was astonished.

- A full collection of figurines of the main cast of my story. There are five main characters in the story and only two of them were on the cover I printed, which mean that he read the book and drew/had someone else draw a sketch of the other three characters in order to make their figurine[s]. They are 25 cm tall and I admit they look really good.

- He paid me back for the physical copy he destroyed. I asked him why he was giving me the money since he had just given me a new copy and his parents had already paid me. He said that the new copy was in place of the one he destroyed, while the money [was] an apology.

He apologized for what he did that day and explained me his reasons (a mix of jealousy and bad timing). Things are still not completely fine but they are better. He thanked me for bearing his hobby all these years. I apologized for losing my temper and insulting his hobby. While I don't share his passion over figurines, I can understand how much… love he put in every one of them.

He looked sincere in his apology and we parted amicably.

I decided to give back to his parents the money they originally gave me as an apology. I spent a couple of hours choosing what to do with the five figurines he gave me. For now I put the two "original[s]" on my desk and the other three on the top shelf of my library. I have to admit, having figurines made about my own book is really cool and I spent quite a lot of time looking at them in the past week.

I want to thank all of you for your support on the original post. Bye…

From Redditor u/married2nalien [not the OP]:

I joined the Navy at… age 20, and my first post after boot camp and school was a base in the middle of nowhere… in Japan. I arrived at the International Airport in Narita, first time out of the US, and way more nervous th[a]n I would ever admit. There was no one to meet me, but I remembered to look for the USO. I found the USO and called the base, and was told to get on the bus to Camp Zama Army Base and someone would meet me there.

By the time I got to Zama, I had been traveling for over 20 hours. All I wanted was a shower and sleep, but there was no one there to meet me.

Fun fact - the bus from the airport dropped passengers at the enlisted club.

So now I am at the club, with two seabags and a backpack, on a Saturday night. I found a phone and called the base again and was told someone would be there in an hour or so. The only place to sit where I could see the front door was in the main lobby. I desperately need food, a shower, and sleep, but am stuck being on display in the main lobby. I can hear the music, smell food, but there is no way I can navigate this with all of my belongings. Three guys (all were POC) walk in and look at me and chuckle as they walk by me. I just want to disappear. A few minutes later they come back, and offer to watch my stuff if I want to go grab food or something to drink. I looked at them for a minute; my brain was arguing with my stomach. You can't leave your stuff with three guys you have never seen before. I thanked them but turned them down. I could still hear the warnings my parents had given me about being a small-in-stature woman and dealing with a group of men I don't know echoing in my head.

One of the three gave me a sad smile and they walked away. About 15 minutes later they were back with a waitress; she was carrying several plates of burgers, fries, and drinks. The one who smiled at me said that he got me some food and had the waitress bring it to let me know it was okay. The three of them sat on the floor next to me and introduced themsel[ves]. Brian was the one who smiled at me and his friends were John and Tony. They asked me where I was going, and I told them and they smiled and said that they were Marines working as part of a security force. I told them that I was a cryptographer and Japan was my first duty station. We talked about lots of things but I honestly don't remember what anymore. I just remember it as a friendly, happy conversation. Several times their friends came out of the dance club and called for them to get in there, and each time they declined. They sat with me for at least 90 minutes until the duty van showed up to get me. They insisted on carrying my things to the van and refused to allow me to pay for the food they got me.

I told the driver I wanted to use the bathroom and would be right back. I turned back towards the club and they were gone. I never even got to thank them. I was sad that I did not really know anything about them and would probably never see them again. It was after midnight by the time I checked in and got assigned a barracks room.

The next morning, I went to get breakfast and while I was standing in line, someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around and there they were (Brian, John and Tony) grinning from ear to ear. I was so happy to see them, it felt like they were old friends. We sat together after we got our food, and Brian told me, we were going to offer to drive you over here last night but we did not think you would accept. I honestly said that I probably wouldn't have.

Several years later, I asked Brian why they offered to help some scrawny white girl they had never seen before. Brian looked at me and said

"The color of skin doesn't matter we all bleed the same... Red, White, and Blue."

Brian, Tony and John taught me a very valuable lesson that day that I have tried to live by.

I am proud to say that I remained friends with all three. Tony was KIA in Afghanistan, and John in a car accident 2013. I am writing this today while sitting in an airport bar in Atlanta. This and a thousand other stories run on a loop in my brain. I am trying to figure out what I am going to say to Brian's wife and kids as I stand with them to say goodbye to one of the best friend[s] I have ever had.

F*** CANCER.

I invite you all to raise a drink tonight to the men and women who bleed red, white and blue.

Semper Fidelis my friend.

Update:

Thank you all for your kind words. I made my flight although I had to be screened to determine if I was too drunk to fly. Apparently being emotional after one drink is a no-no on Delta. They also did not appreciate my telling them that I had not planned to fly the plane but could give it a go if they really needed me to.

I thought you would all appreciate what happened next. My flight lands and I head for the rental car desk. I am on the escalator and I hear people ahead of me laughing and I look over the heads of the people in front of me when I see it. Tre (Brian's older brother) is standing to the right at the bottom of the stairs holding a sign (like you see limo drivers holding) that reads...

"Token White Girl"

I burst into hysterical laughter, and Tre sees me and starts laughing. We both go from laughter to tears. I get off the escalator and give him a hug. We are both nearly hysterical with tears streaming down our faces, and we can barely stay upright. Which led to the police coming over to ask if I am okay... Which just set us off laughing again. It took about 10 minutes for Tre and I to calm down enough to explain to the cops we are fine, and head for his car. We sat in the car for another 20 minutes laughing, knowing that Brian would have been ROFL watching that.

From Redditor u/redditmademegay [not the OP]:

I'm proposing to my girlfriend of two years on Valentine's Day, which is also our anniversary! And I'm currently hiding in the bathroom while she's asleep so I can just cry about how much I love her without waking her up. We're pretty much re-creating our first date and at the end as we're walking on the beach like we did on our first date, we're gonna walk up to this point where her family and friends will have set up a picnic table with a charcuterie board and the ring box. I'll then pick up the ring, get on one knee, tell her how much I love her and ask her to marry me!

Her family and friends will be watching close by and will then come and celebrate with us on the beach. Two of her friends that live in other states flew in to surprise her and to be here for it! I can't wait to see her face when she realizes we've all planned this out for months now and they took time off work to make it here and surprise her. She's the best person I've ever met and every day with her feels like the best day of my life as cheesy as that sounds. She makes the bad days not as bad. I never knew love could be this amazing until I met her. I never knew true love until I met her. I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with the woman of my dreams! This is a throwaway account so I figured this is the perfect place to just happy rant where I know she'll never see this post. I could text a friend all of this, but it's been hard enough keeping the texts about the proposal secret/avoiding her seeing any info about it, so reddit is the perfect place for late-night happy rambles. Okay, now I gotta collect myself and go cuddle my adorable sleeping soon to be fiance. 🥰

Edit: we've been talking about getting engaged for about a year now. We're both women and always joke about who's going to beat who to proposing first. I'm determined to propose first! She's always said I can never surprise her and on Monday I'm going to prove her wrong and I can't wait! There are so many surprises in store for her! But point is yes, were both definitely on the same page about what we want and I know she'll say yes(:

Update:

SHE SAID YES!!! I'd include pictures if I could but it says this community doesn't allow pictures. We went to the same restaurant we went to for our first date, and after, we walked a local beach where her family and friends were waiting nearby on the pier. As we walked closer to the pier she noticed a picnic table that had been set up with aesthetic fairy lights, pictures of us and a charcuterie board. On the board with the food was the ring box. It took her a second to realize it was there and when she did her jaw dropped and she goes, "Oh my god is that?" And before she could even finish her sentence I go, "surprise baby," and grab the ring box, kneel on one knee, grab her hand and profess my love to her. I then ask her to make me the happiest woman on earth and marry me. And she said YES!!

Then her family and friends [including] some friends she hadn't seen since before the pandemic ran over to the beach to celebrate with us! We spent another hour or so taking pictures, dancing to music with our friends and family, eating amazing food, getting a little wine drunk haha and just having an amazing time. We're back home now and I can't believe I get to spend the rest of my life with my best friend. I'm so lucky! I'm so happy I can finally call her my fiance!!!

From Redditor u/LucyAriaRose [not the OP]:

I will preface this by saying that my mother treated my sister and I differently; I was always less than, while she could do no wrong. She'd always buy my sister everything she wanted, while I wore her hand-me-downs. I moved out at 18, worked through college, went NC [no contact] with mom and LC [low contact] with sister and our paths diverged greatly from there. I now work in a field that pays well, while she is a sahm [stay-at-home mom]. I guess I never quite got over this, and while I know the main AH is my mother, and my sister didn't really know any better, I still fester negative feelings towards both of them.

I found Tom in a bag as a newborn kitten; he was the only one still alive and I raised him over summer break when I was 13. Then, when school started, my mother got rid of him and I had to go through great and extreme lengths to find out where she dumped him. Took me a week to find him and we've been together ever since.

For a few months Tom hasn't really been okay and has been slowly declining. The vet, however, based on the recent blood panel we did, was confident that he still has some life left to live and said that he's by far the healthiest geriatric cat she's seen in a while. Thus, we decided to try out surgery to improve his quality of life, even though he's 21. This surgery comes with a price tag. I'm not in the US, but it's around three months worth of minimum wage in my country. It won't set us back much, hardly an inconvenience, but we'll be frugal just in case complications happen. He's scheduled for Monday, fingers crossed!

Anyway, my sister dropped by on Sunday, which was strange; we haven't spoken since she [sent[ a Merry Christmas GIF on [Facebook]. Looks like her husband jumped onto the NFT bandwagon and they're kind of broke and a few months behind on mortgage, and asked if I could help her out with the payments, since they're at risk of becoming homeless. I said I'm sorry she's going through this, but this is not a good time for me either, and listed the reasons above; I do not want to ever be in a situation where my cat's life depends on $100 that I cannot afford to pay. I suggested she got a job and maybe downsize/move in with [our] mother while they get back up on their feet. She did not take this well; called me a c*nt and a crazy cat lady that's going to end up alone, plus some other nice words. I kicked her out.

My mother and other relatives have been spamming me through the week for being heartless and caring more about an animal than my own flesh and blood. My husband says I could've just given her some cash to avoid the drama, and he's right. I could've. This is why I feel like I might be the AH; in the end, the main reason I chose not to help is due to my childhood baggage. AITA?

Cat Tax: He's not looking his best, but... https://imgur.com/CkaSRDB

Relevant Comments:

About why she's spending money on an old cat:

"I get what you're saying, but I saw the blood tests. 90% of the values are within range. I cannot, in good faith, put down an objectively healthy cat, especially one that has been with me through thick and thin."

"I struggled a lot before going this route. Tried everything I could to avoid dragging him through surgery. It's gotten to the point where I can have him operated on and maybe [he'll] Iive for a few more years, or put him down, a technically healthy cat with oral issues. I'm okay with being TA if it means he gets to live pain free a while longer."

Update:

Thank you so much to all of you who have wished Tom good luck on his surgery, I'm [ecstatic] to let you know all went well! I was a bit cautious on providing an update, as I wanted to make sure he is indeed doing better before celebrating.

On the weekend leading to the big day I bought him his favorite food - these tiny fish that in my country are generally eaten whole, fried (anchovies?) that he loves to gobble up raw. I only ever give those as a treat maybe a few times a year since they're not exactly healthy for cats, but I made an exception since, you know, things could've gone terribly bad.

The operation went great; vet said there were no complications. I got him home in the afternoon of and he slept it off until midnight, when he started asking for food! He's been eating like he's trying to make up for the weight loss he suffered. He's also been more alert these days, started following me around again and begging for food, and it looks like he's sleeping better, too. He would generally just lay awake on his cat bed all day, looking unhappy; now he's sleeping soundly between meals. The only disconfort he has is related to the stitches on his gums, but they should fall off in a few weeks. Honestly, it's like they didn't remove only his teath, but also… chipped off a few years!

I'd also like to thank all of you that called me out on using him as an excuse. You're right, I was using him as an excuse. No has never been a full sentence for me, so I am now actively looking into finding a good therapist. I still stand by my decision of not helping my sister out though, and many numbers and social media accounts have been blocked.

I'm thinking about leaving this account active and add a final update in a week, or a month, or a year, or whenever it's time to bid Tom farewell. But for now, he seems happy, so I've no doubt I made the right choice.