1
336
VOTES
They Poured Their Husband's Sweet Tea Down The Drain
From Redditor u/ItzXtraGamer [not the OP]: I lost my part-time job due to COVID and I've basically become a little housewife. I'm fine with that, as that's always been my role in my relationship anyway; it's just less hard to keep up with now. I'm also in school for nursing, but obviously I'm doing that from home. My husband works full time and works hard. His commute to work is very long - over an hour each way. We go running together every day, and because I know it's a lot of stress for him, we meet 20 minutes away from our home so he doesn't have to come home and drive back out. He calls me when he's 20 minutes away, and I leave. Today, I was seven minutes late as I had to turn off all the lights and get myself together before leaving the house. When I got there, he copped a MAJOR attitude with me for being late. Refused to even speak to me. For being seven minutes late!!!! I tried to explain that I had to put my shoes on and turn out the lights, but he wouldn't talk to me. The run was very awkward and when we got home, he said that he felt he had every right to be angry, and stomped off upstairs. I've had a lot of pent-up feelings about the fact that he has always expected me to be at his beck and call. Its like he thinks the whole world revolves around his time schedule because I lost my job. Anytime he's hungry, thirsty... he yells my name. He doesn't even serve his own PLATES anymore. It's like he thinks I just sit in the dark with my hands folded, waiting for him to call. At this point, I knew he was being ridiculous, and I was just so upset... that I did something that may make me the a**hole. When he came downstairs, I told him that he could make his own dinner, his own lunch tomorrow for work, and I looked him straight in the eye as I poured the pitcher of sweet tea I make him every week down the drain, and I said, "You can make your own f****** sweet tea too, you ungrateful brat." And I walked out and drove to my mom's house. So, AITA for that overreaction? I was just so annoyed. Overall verdict: NTA Update: I deleted my edits because I wanted to do an update, as I see a lot of kind, wonderful people so concerned about my well-being. I want to thank each and every one of you for being so supportive. I don't have any friends any more, and all the messages and comments have made me feel like I have a support group. For now, I am staying at my parents indefinitely. My mom is helping me write a list of all the reasons I'd want to stay, and all the reasons I'd like to leave. I have always been a very independent person and I think I've been lying to myself about my situation for a long time. I called him to tell him I wouldn't be coming home and he didn't really seem to care much, which did hurt a lot. Either way, I am going to get through this and I'm gonna get my degree. For those of you concerned about kids - dont worry, I have an IUD! Again, thank you all so much. Your love and support means more to me than I can express. Edit: I just want to say, I see all of your observations and have read through the comments. Thank you so much for the support and advice you give, it means a lot. I don't really know what to think right now and I'm just struggling to process what some of you are saying and pointing out. If I didn't respond to your comment, I still read it and appreciate it. It's just very hard to hear that your husband may be taking advantage of you. Edit 2: for those of y'all saying I should have "budgeted time," I'm confused how I'm supposed to do that when he calls me at the exact time I'm supposed to leave. It's not like he's always of[f] at 6 pm; it varies a lot. And he calls when he's EXACTLY 20 minutes away, which is how long it takes to get there. Am I supposed to just be... sitting in the dark, poised like I'm Usain Bolt so I'm ready to run out at full speed for the hour window I may be getting the call? Some interesting responses by OOP: He’s 12 years older than me, been married before to a housewife but got divorced. When we got married, he mentioned he wanted a housewife and that it was his goal for us to be stable enough to do that. So this may have been earlier than expected, but it's what he wanted anyway. I'm 19 and just figured out what I wanna do. I feel like it's typical for me to not have a job when in school full time anyway. INFO: What happens if you leave the lights on? OOP response: He gets annoyed at me for wasting money, and very passive-aggressively shows me how to turn off light switches 😒 I just try to avoid the headache beforehand. So, it's been a few days since my original post. Everyone was so kind, helpful, and supportive. I received so many messages and I want to thank each one of you for them. They meant more to me than you know. Well, I've left my husband. And it really wasn't over this one incident, but really a build up of many. Before I even made the post, I wasn't completely blind to what he had been doing in terms of control. As weird as it seems, sometimes I just forget I am an adult and I don't have to just “yes sir” and listen to any man that's older than me. I'm an adult now. I make my own rules. I feel sick saying this, but I realize I had been viewing him as a parental figure and not a partner. It kind of makes my stomach twist to even type that, but that is what it is. I don't really want to analyze it right now; it's too gross. I'm honestly going through a really tough grieving time right now. I feel like such a failure. What's worse is that he does not care in the least. When I called him to tell him I was leaving, he said, "Okay. Let me know when you want to grab your stuff; we can have you moved out ASAP." And that was it. That was all he said before he hung up the phone. I'm really hurting. I loved him so much, and I think part of me just wanted to see if he was willing to fight for me and apologize. He was not, so that's that. But, although I'm hurting, I feel free. My mom has welcomed me back; she's so happy I am divorcing him. I got together with my friends who he wouldn't let me see. I watched TV shows he told me were too childish. And I've been wearing ugly sweatpants and oversize T-shirts that he always said made me "look like a man." So thank you, all of you. I got a wakeup call I desperately needed. I don't even WANT to be a housewife. I never wanted that for me (no hate on anyone who does, honestly guys it was hard and lonely work). I am going to get my RN, and then move on to my master's. You've all encouraged me in the best way possible.
336 votes
2
230
VOTES
Their Husband Gave Away Their Cat And Now They Can't Get It Back
From Redditor u/Stepoo [not the OP]: After my dad passed, I was feeling very down, like I had a hole that I couldn’t fill. I was finding it hard to keep myself busy around the house during the day so I decided to adopt my cat Benji. I rescued him when he was so small he fit in the palm of my hand and have had him for 2 years. This may sound crazy to some, but I really believe Benji is the reincarnation of my dad. When I look into his eyes, I feel something more than a cat. Like a cat born with a human soul. All the timing adds up, it all makes sense to me at least. Even if I am crazy the thought brings me comfort and I don’t see anything wrong with it. My husband thinks this is strange and unhealthy. He says my bond with the cat freaks him out, and makes him uncomfortable that I truly believe he has my dads soul. It’s been two years since he died, Benji really saved me. He’s the best companion I could’ve asked for. I mean, there’s nothing better than being able to cuddle up with an animal that loves you at the end of a long day. Though hubby would disagree. Now I went on a girls' trip with my sisters and mom for her birthday, and while I was gone my husband decided he was going to rehome my cat without my permission. I had no idea what was going on while I was out. When I came home and couldn’t find the cat my first thought was that he must have somehow made his way outside. This already worried me because we never let him out, God knows what could happen to him out there! After my frantic search inside and on my way outside to keep searching, hubby informs me that Benji is “staying with a friend” WHAT!! So I demanded that he called to take him back ASAP! He wouldn’t, but thankfully he had told me who he gave my cat too, so I had to make some calls of my own. Benji is currently stuck with my husbands coworker. We aren’t good friends, but we are friendly, have dinner together sometimes etc. So I called the coworker asking for my cat back, and he tells me my husband gave him away fair and square and he won’t be returning my cat! My husband had no right, the cat has always been only mine. I adopted him, I raised him, I care for him, I’m the only one who ever spends any money on him. I am at a loss right now. Benji has never been through anything like this and I can only imagine the stress he must be feeling right now. I know I sure am.
So many things are racing through my mind right now. My cat's safety. Extreme disappointment in my husband. I’m disgusted he would even think about something like this. I have no idea what to do now and where to start. I just want my cat back safely and then will have to deal with hubby.
Thank you all for the support and advice, it means so much to me! I would’ve never expected to get so much reach! You are all such kind souls
First, I filed a police report, I collected as much proof of ownership as possible. Then I reached out to the coworkers wife and explained what was going on, and promptly asked them to return Benji. She then informed me that she had no idea what I was talking about. At this point I was furious with rage. I asked my husband WTF was going on?! Told him I have police involved and he needs to give up the cat ASAP! Turns out Benji was at a local shelter. Never was with the coworker at all.
I immediately tracked the shelter down to retrieve my boy, I had all my documents needed to prove he is mine, and he has a microchip. I took him straight to my sisters house, where I will also be staying for the time being. My sister had been through divorce and has remarried, so she will help me get all my ducks in a row and prepare to file for divorce.
I am heartbroken, but also incredibly thankful that my poor boy is now home safe! He was clearly stressed and confused but he is settling in quite well at my sisters. My brother will be picking up any necessities from my house for me, I haven’t been home or seen my husband since I left for the shelter. My family has supported me in my decisions and they are all willing to do whatever it takes to help me when I may need them.
Again thank you all so much for the kind words and concern. I was so surprised to see people wanting Benji updates! This experience has been very eye opening to say the least, in so many ways.
230 votes
3
258
VOTES
They Won The Lottery Five Years Ago And Just Got Engaged
From Redditor u/Direct-Caterpillar77 [not the OP]: So after taxes my [lottery] winnings came to just shy of $4 million. I paid off all my debts, hired an accountant, fixed some things on my truck, and put most of it in savings. I kept my job, didn't move, and kept my mouth shut. My brother is a meth head, my sister is a spiteful wh*re, and my mom still blames everything on my dad who died 10 years ago, so I didn't want them scrambling to pretend to give a s*** about me for cash. I've been dating a girl for about three years now and recently asked her to marry me; she said yes. I bought a modest ring, just over what people would expect given my known employment. This weekend I'm going to lay everything out for her and I can truly know she's in it for me and not the money. It's going to liberating to be able to buy what I want and take care of my friends; totally worth the wait. From Redditor u/MunchkinPumpkin: I think the big thing here isn't how much he has from the win, it's the fact winning the lottery is seen as such a significant event and he she hasn't been made aware. At the end of the day, how much money anyone has in their bank account is no [one's] business but their own. It's just [that] the conversation about how much he has stored away for their life together won't be, “I have $15K”; it will be, "I have $4 million." She will certainly be shocked and want to understand why this information was not shared sooner. OP make sure she understands that this wasn't about withholding things from her, but the fact the money is in savings like it would be for anyone else out there. It's not a huge part of your everyday life and you're not defined by it. Good luck OP OOP replied: “OP make sure she understands that this wasn't about withholding things from her, but the fact the money is in savings like it would be for anyone else out there. It's not a huge part of your everyday life and you're not defined by it.” That's the biggest thing for me. It started out as keeping it away from my family and maintaining the life I'd built on my own, it just kind of snowballed from the "does she really likeme?" concern and turned into a thing. It wasn't a planned test anything crazy Well this spawned some serious discussion. Addressing a few things: • We've already talked about prenups several times and are both for them. She makes enough to support herself and we're both financially independent of each other. • I do plan on offering to pay for any legal fees if she wants council on the prenup. • I have helped a few friends with small things financially; most have paid it back. • No, you can't have a dollar. • For those of you who feel entitled to know the financial ins and outs of your SO's life while dating, that's your view. We're both adults who had careers prior to dating and have never needed to get into what is in our accounts short of “Do you have this half of that bill?” I've never told her I'm loaded, or broke, or gone over what my portfolio looks like because it hasn't come up and I'm fine with not knowing hers. • I do enjoy my job and the people I work with/for, so it's been easy to stay on. My returns net me about double my salary so I've been saving quite a bit. • I plan on buying a new vehicle, her as well if she wants one, a house, paying off a friend of mine's student loan (more on that), and taking some time off to travel. • A good friend of mine reached out to me early on and let me stay with him for close to two years, rent free, while I kicked a drinking habit and got on my feet. He's the only one I'll be pouring any kind of cash to and it couldn't go to a better person. He has a newborn daughter that will get a college fund, I'm paying off his school debts and his house. Other than that, ask away boys 'n girls. I'll update everyone after dinner Saturday if you're still interested. I received a lot of feedback on my post and several people expressed interest in the outcome of revealing my finances to my new fiancee after keeping her in the dark for so long. People who want to catch up can read myoriginal post here. So, my plan was a relaxing evening on the odd weekend we both manage to be free from work or other plans. We went to an early dinner at one of our favorite Italian places (an inexpensive little diner nearby with great appetizers), and then finally went to see Star Wars. After the movie we grabbed some beer and wine for the evening and went home to relax. Skip the weekly small-talk about work, friends, and the accompanying few drinks in and I told her I wanted to be open about everything with each other leading up to the marriage.
She got kind of quiet, a little guarded and said "Well yea, so do I", pausing with that look people get when they want you to keep talking.
I told her we were never truly going to have to worry about money, that she could do whatever she wanted with her job or stay at home or change careers, anything... because I had north of 3 million dollars in the bank.
Her response was the slow "What are you talking about? How?" kind of thing. I got up and pulled a financial statement I'd printed out and stashed in the coffee table drawer, handed it to her and told her I'd won it all a couple years before we met.
She started crying, like sobbing uncontrollably crying and looked terrified. I got really worried and started explaining I kept it hidden because I didn't want my s***bag family hunting me down, that I didn't want people around me to change or to lose my friends.
Then she started apologizing, saying she should have told me before I proposed. She has about $40,000 in student loan and credit card debt and thought that was going to break the engagement. She thought I was so financially responsible that there was no way I'd take on that debt because she never told me about it. It's why she'd been so open to a prenup in the vague conversations we'd had about it before, why she'd never brought up or talked about money.
So, after a long... long conversation about openness and trust (even mentioned some of you cynical bastard's opinions) we hashed out some ideas on what we would agree on for the prenup in regards to premarital debt/assets and all that. I'm going to pay her debt off after we're married so the tax issue is less of a concern and all of my winnings will remain mine should we divorce, interest and dividends will be marital assets.
All told I'm very pleased with how things played out and we're in a great place for it. We're working with attorney's and my accountant this week and I'll be putting my two week notice in at work. She wants to keep her job but will request some time off so we can take a vacation and settle in to actually enjoying some money.
I talked my friend about paying off his house and all that, he very firmly refused anything for himself but was very grateful for the offer to setup his daughter's college fund. I'm going to keep leaning on him though, I think he'll come around to accepting some repayment of the kindness he showed me. Maybe a vacation at the very least, I dunno.
That's all folks, I'll check in from time to time if you guys have any questions, happy Monday!
[No Regrets]Still!
258 votes
4
113
VOTES
Their Neighbor Got Too Petty About Property Limits
From Redditor u/PresidentStone [not the OP]: Neighbor was petty on property limits... now I'm going to make him replace his whole fence When my contractor installed the fence around my property, he made a mistake and went over the property line by 4cm, along my neighbors' hedge. My neighbor made a fuss of it, and even dragged us to court (we lost, obviously - he was petty, but that's the law). However, we found out today that his dog is amongst the "dangerous breeds", so his fence should be 2m high, with a concrete base, around all of his property. Turns out the current one is 1m40, with no base. Guess what complaint I'm going to file with the police? (I have 3 small kids who like to play in the yard, and he has trained his dog to bark whenever they go outside. He's a heinous guy, for real.) EDIT : I see quite a few people saying I "encroached on his land". To be completely clear, we're talking 4cm in a 10m line, so that's 0.04 0.4 square meters. (bad math) *My contractor told me he wouldn't move it because that's in the margin of error for plans, and it's along a hedge! (edit to the edit, because I just woke up brain no work good) Last Edit before I let this die on its own : I wasn't set on revenge. Like I said, we lost, fair and square, because the law is the law. BUT, since he always yelled about the law and his rights, what a hypocrite to abstain from mentioning he is in violation too. So, since we were both in violation of property limit law, I'm only making sure we all end in compliance. This is an update to this post. Surveyor came today to install the new boundary markers. And in a very happy (for us) twist, they were actually "stealing" more land from us than we were from them, just on the other stretch of our shared limit. Their fence was off by 2° over 17 meters, meaning overall they took over our property by 5.1 square meters. And the back of their shed is too close to the line of the new survey according to zoning regulation. We are laughing. It's hysterical for us that they went to all the trouble of making us pay for a survey over 0.4 square meters, but are going to end up losing part of theirs, maybe have to tear their shed (not sure yet if we're going to be magnanimous on this point and not report them on that), and of course, the dog-proof fencing all around their property. So to all the people saying I was “stealing from them,” I hope you have enough stones to throw their way too.
113 votes
5
150
VOTES
They Used To Always Be Late And Now They're In Trouble
From Redditor u/KittenDealinMama: AITA for being late when I was previously someone who was chronically late Hi everybody! I would like some judgement on this because I’ve been getting some serious backslash from my friends but personally don’t really see the issue. Last week I was invited to brunch with some of my closer friends. We meet up quite regularly so this wasn’t anything special or uncommon. Now, I’m gonna be honest, I used to be someone who was chronically late to everything. Like 20 - 30 minutes. I just couldn’t seem to manage my life enough to be on time. However, I’ve seriously taken the time to change. Life planners, reminders and overall more awareness of time and stuff have helped me a lot. In the past 2 (?) years I’ve never been late to anything if there wasn’t a genuine reason. (Train getting delayed or smh like that) Now all my precautions have failed me last week and I found myself running late. Not terribly so big maybe 10 minutes behind schedule. I let the others know via text that I’ll be late and than they can start order drinks already and don’t have to wait for me. I thought everything was dealt with hurried up and got to the place maybe 15 minutes late in total. I was already ready to apologize and sit down at the table but as soon as I sat down everyone got up and left me there. They told me that if they weren’t worth my time I wasn’t worth theirs either and they left the restaurant together. I later saw on Insta that they went out to eat together somewhere else. Now I would’ve understood that if it was in my late era but I thought that it was clear that I’ve changed and wasn’t late just because I could. (My friends are late sometimes too so I don’t see the reason on them being always on time) Judgment: Not The A**hole Hello everyone! A few days ago I posted about a situation where I was late to a brunch with friends. Someone sent me a message asking for an update so I thought I just post it publicly. Now first of all, thank you so much for everyone’s feedback! I was ultimately called NTA but I’m truly happy for every judgement, the YTAs as well! Reading through all of the comments was basically impossible, however there were some prominent ones. Due to so many recommendations I now have an appointment for an ADHD diagnosis which I am really happy about. I also used many comments as tips on how to get ahead of my schedule even more just in case I’ll ever run late again. Thanks so much for that! However, long story short, here is how the situation turned out in the end: Brunch with my friends usually starts at 11am. I arrived at 11.15am so 15 minutes late. However one of my friends had an appointment at 1pm which lead to the brunch being pulled forward an hour, now starting at 10am. Now, here it gets a little confusing. Usually these things are simply posted on the group chat in advance, everyone reads it and all is good. Now the 10am brunch was planned at the brunch the week beforehand which I didn’t attend due to an appointment. Now I was meeting up with one of them a day later and they where supposed to tell me about it. However, hanging out, they simply forgot about it. (No problem, happens to everyone yk) SO I was arriving to the 10am brunch at 11.15 and called that „a little behind schedule“ which made them angry as it seemed really ignorant. That explains the huge reaction tbh. Now we all had a talk after a few days and it took about 5 minutes of confused discussion until they realized that they didn’t tell me. They started apologizing profusely immediately. To sum it up we’re all good now! It was a misunderstanding and that happens. Next brunch is fully on them lol Thanks for everyone’s judgment! Hope this update helps understanding the situation and isn’t too confusing. (It was very confusing to write tbh)
150 votes
6
113
VOTES
They Weren't Paying Child Support For A Child They Didn't Know Existed
From Redditor u/beerbellybegone [not the OP]: Can I owe child support and just completely be unaware of it? I received this letter in the mail in response to a passport application I submitted almost a year ago. I contacted my department of state after months without a response regarding my application and never heard anything since. Fast forward to today, I randomly received this letter stating they denied my request because I owe child support payments. I am 32 and have no knowledge of a child whatsoever. Hell, I’m not sure I’ve even had unprotected sex, let alone with a stranger who I wouldn’t expect would notify me of a child that’s potentially mine. This is freaking me out, and of course it happens on a Friday when I can’t get closure until next week. Is it possible I have a child and nobody has once ever tried to contact me about my paternal obligations? Is it possible the government made an administrative mistake with this letter? My name is somewhat common, but they attached my birth certificate and stuff so it just seems weird. Edit: they included a copy of the June 11 2022 letter they’re referring to with this letter, but it has nothing to do with child support or anything. Just saying I needed to complete an additional form for my lost passport. This is what that one says. Update from Redditor u/astquart43 [not the OP]: So sure enough, I called the department of health and human services the moment they opened today, and the first thing they said is “we get this call daily. Let me look you up and confirm.” They even have an automated option when you call that specifically outlines this exact scenario. Wild. In short, no kid and the passport center is terrible. Just to give anybody that was curious closure.
113 votes
